When we watch a film we know it’s not ‘true’ but if the story is told in a believable way then we are happy to suspend disbelief for an hour and half and allow ourselves to be taken into the land of make-believe.
In daily life too we oscillate between a variety of chosen beliefs, some that serve us well ‘I can do this’ to those that make us feel bad ‘I am rubbish’. We build up beliefs with perceived evidence and over time we feed them until they are solid as rock and we believe them to be The Truth. But it is worth remembering our beliefs are not true, they are our chosen view. We can see life through dark shades or rose coloured spectacles. Either way it effects how we feel.
This week a dear friend encouraged me to go to Ukelele Wednesdays. Now I ‘believe’ that I’m not very good at the Ukelele and for a while that belief has stopped me from playing at all. But heading out on the bus with my Uke on my back I chose not to listen to that belief and to go along to the evening just for the hell of having a good time with a good mate. As a trained classical pianist it pains me not to excel at an instrument, that ego once again vying for attention: if you can’t be perfect at it don’t pain the ears of the world with your tinkerings.
The brilliance of the Uke night is that there are no Divas, or Prima Donnas and Egos are frisked at the door and turned away. This is a free for all, a bunch of 30 or so mixed ability people having a blinding time of it, belting out the tunes projected on the wall, bellowing or harmonising, no matter, this is about doing your best and having a helluva good time.
My belief was systematically disassembled because it was totally irrelevant to the overall outcome. I was released from that harmful belief and into a new one: I’m good enough to have a blast and if I practise a bit more it will get even more fun.
What beliefs are getting in your way of having a good life? I help my clients do the equivalent of pancake-flipping: taking harmful beliefs and flipping them over into helpful ones. Neither are ‘true’ but one makes you feel a lot better than the other. So go and bash a few bum beliefs on the head this week and free yourself up to a better life
5 Belief bashing tips
1. Look at an area in your life that isn’t as rosy as you’d like
2. Brainstorm all your beliefs around why it’s failing
3. Draw out two columns headed Negative Beliefs and Positive Beliefs
4. Write down all your negative beliefs
5. Imagine what it would be like to flip each of of those negatives around with a positive spin. Write those new beliefs in the Positive Belief column. You don’t have to believe them right now, but keep reading them every day. If you were to stick with the Negative Beliefs how would you continue to feel? Lousy? If you were to try the Positive ones on for size, how would that change your day? Why not give feeling good a try?
If you want help unraveling the layers of negative beliefs that you have built up over time, and you are ready to enhance and improve your life, contact me for a trial consultation to find out more about my process based coaching course. 6 x 1 hour sessions or 9 x 1 hour sessions with the 10th session free. CONTACT