Motivational Mondays: No to Naysayers

‘Who do you think you are?’ is the name of a TV series getting people to trawl through their family history to unearth new information about their forebears and cast a different light on who they are on the back of it.

road less travelled

It implies you are the sum of generations rolled up and reincarnated into a model of baggage and inherited personas. Think of your hang ups. Do you procrastinate, doubt yourself, live in fear, pray for the end of the week, compare yourself negatively with others, put up with naysayers, people please, put yourself down, etc etc? Wherever all that stuff came from (blame the ancestors if you like) it is certainly not helping you now. Is it possible to cast off the shadow and reinvent a new you?

Head in the clouds

Imagine not feeling those things? Imagine waking up in the morning and saying like President Obama “Yes I can?” With New Year’s Resolutions we promise ourselves a mental make-over, but unfortunately sheer will power usually isn’t man or woman enough for the job. You need to get creative to upscale your mindset. Creative thinking will trick your deeply entrenched resistance into shedding the shackles of years of self-sabotage.

Inspiration is everywhere

How does it work? Well it’s basis is in anti-logic. The usual solutions haven’t done the trick, so you have to get cunning. Resistance thinks ‘can’t’- creative thinking does something out of the blue, beyond the pail, something ridiculous or subverted or upside down. It spins our brain and our patterns of behaviour and our damaging beliefs, out of orbit and into a place where ‘Can’ is actually possible.

Light changes everything

The two words we coaches hear more often than anything (yes to our ears they are swear words! ) are : “Yeah but…” When we hear them we know that person is wallowing in the mudflats of misery and will bat you away with the deftness of a hippopotamus’s tail swatting flies.

“Yeah but I’m not creative, yeah but I’m no good at that, yeah but I’m not qualified, yeah but I’m a woman in a man’s world, yeah but I’m too old, yeah but I’m working class, yeah but I’m not clever enough, yeah but I’m shy, yeah but I’m broke, yeah but…” The yeah-butters are very creative in finding reasons to not change or transform themselves even when they say they want to. The yeah-butters put their energy into the treadmill of resistance. What they are really saying is “I have decided it is not possible”.

Sky high dreams

But there is very little that you can’t get around somehow, if you choose to. Beethoven had gone completely deaf when he wrote his 9th Symphony. The great photorealist painter Chuck Close was paralysed so badly by a blood clot on the spine that he couldn’t even pick up a paint brush. He had his paintbrush strapped to his wrist and he developed a new technique in paintings. His work became even more successful than before.  I bet no one heard either Beethoven or Close say “Yeah but…”

Fling open your doors

And then when you’ve won the battle against yourself, you run headlong into the frontline of Naysayers who hide behind the shields of “we don’t want to see you fail, we’re only thinking of your best interests, we don’t want you to get hurt, we’re only trying to protect you, we don’t want you to humiliate yourself.” The list goes on. If they were people who had become immensely successful and happy on the back of this fearful approach, then by all means it would be ok to listen to their concerns. But they’re not. Do you think Richard Branson took any notice of Naysayers proclaiming that setting up an airline was madness? I imagine the only voices he listened to were the ones saying “why the hell not?” And now he owns an Island in the Carribean. I doubt those Naysayers are his neighbours.

Houston we have lift-off

If those negative voices are your own or someone else’s put up a big STOP sign and work on some creative strategies to turn around the yeah-buts and discard the naysayers:

7 Ways to “Yes!”

  1. For every yeah-but write down 10 reasons it could work out
  2. Write down the consequences of staying the same
  3. Think of the people you admire who have achieved great things, imagine the naysayers they met along the way and what yeah butting things those naysayers would have said. Write them down and then do what your hero did and throw them away.
  4. Research 5 successful people and find out how many rejections they had along the way. Make a colourful collage of all the rejections you’ve received and turn it into a Mandela for never giving up.
  5. Spend the day pretending you are already doing thing you want to do or being the person you want to be.
  6. Put yourself in a different context or with different people. It shifts your perspective.
  7. Focus on what you love doing and are happy to apply yourself to day in and day out. That is the only way to get good at something. Naysayers will have a hard time stopping you from doing what you love.

‘A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do’ Bob Dylan

If you need some help transforming your thinking or you are stuck in a groove, get yourself a Creative Thinking Coach. Email Lou@createlab.co.uk

For my daily photo-quotes & drawings follow me on Twitter @createlab Instagram create_lab Facebook Lou Hamilton

Hideaways gestate ideas

Queen of Dreams

When we’re trudging to work on a Monday morning in drizzle, traffic or overcrowded tube it’s hard not to see the freedom of the weekend slipping away into the fug of oncoming doom and overladen desktop.

Dream Big

Dream Big

Dreams are for the mildly insane we think, or at the very least best kept to the hours of midnight to 6am before reality kicks in with the jangling of the alarm clock. Who has time to fritter away idle precious seconds dreaming of wild adventures, best selling novels, Oscar winning performances, incomes sailing way above outgoings, picking up a Nobel peace prize, winning the Derby with your own steed, building a space rocket to take passengers into space.

Dare to walk on the wild side

Dare to walk on the wild side

We tell ourselves, as we neck back that treble strength expresso and launch into the Monday mayhem of demands, deadlines and office squabbles, such thinking is for the likes of Richard Branson and JK Rowling. The rest of us mere mortals have mortgages to pay, kids to feed and bosses to obey. Our wages barely get us through the month as it is so why would we take any further risk and go it alone into the mine field existence of entrepreneurial endeavour or running off to join a circus?

What new beginnings can you create?

What new beginnings can you create?

However, if you listen to JK Rowling’s Harvard Commencement Speech you’ll hear the words of a woman who had nothing but the dress on her back and a bunch of dreams that she had the courage to weave into the wild and wonderful adventures of Harry Potter. The rest wasn’t quite history. She tells us her path was paved with failure upon failure and she got used to picking up the pieces of shattered hopes until with perseverance and determination she cracked the code and her dreams took flight.

Her message to embrace failure spoken to young academics unused to failure is on one level amusing- these people will undoubtedly continue to sail the winds of sweet success, marry beautiful people, own big houses and cars and collect a substantial golden package on retirement. But what if they harbour secret dreams that don’t fit with their specified career trajectory, what if they really want to be a stand-up comic or invent the natural organic alternative to Botox or save children in Syria? Well then JK Rowling’s words will awaken the giant within because they will be faced with a choice, relative security of the known or the roller coaster ride of pursuing the dream.

We all dream, we all have choices but will we choose to do what ever it takes to manifest those dreams or will we stuff our dreams away until our knees crumble under the weight of a lifetime tied to a desk we wish we hadn’t chosen?

Avoid regrets in old age by making your dreams happen while you can

Avoid regrets in old age by making your dreams happen while you can

As a coach I help people find their big dream or manifest the dreams they already have. It’s about building confidence, fighting off fears, risk taking, and thinking outside the box.
I am helping my son, still at University, to build his new business SelvageLondon. His dream is to make people feel good through affordable bespoke perfectly fitting jeans. My daughter still in the middle of A Levels has just bought her own domain name RubyMayLondon and I am helping her develop a vlogging business in which she intends to encourage people to use safe homemade organic natural cosmetics (i.e. non-toxic).

I am happy that my kids have big dreams, are willing to take risks, collect their failures along the way and manage their own destinies. Running your own business is not for everybody of course but dreams come in all shapes and sizes and when you find one that niggles away at you, keeps you awake at night, gives you goose bumps and shivers of excitement when you allow yourself to think about it, please consider the option of diving in and making it happen. Life is too short not to.

If you need help making your dreams come true why not do a six or nine session (10th session free) coaching course with me and I’ll help you develop the right mindset to achieve the life you really want.

Believe you can make your dreams come true

Believe you can make your dreams come true

5 Top Tips to Making Dreams Come True

1. Write your dreams down

2. Give yourself a time-frame

3. Break the Dream into small manageable steps

4. Get a dream buddy or coach to keep you accountable

5. Find areas in your life where your dream is already showing up. This might be in a different way to what you imagine. Look hard- I have a belief that often what we search for elsewhere is actually happening in some way right beneath our noses. In this way act AS IF your big dream is already happening.